Hey guys!!! There are a million ways to live your life. Everyone thinks that their way is the perfect one. I was the type of guy who used to think that his way is the perfect one but soon enough I realized that there are more than a million ways to live your life. A million ideology to follow. And the worst thing is that they all seem right. So today, let’s see how each ideology is perfect in its own way and how you can select the best for you in our favorite, Expeknow style!
You might have heard some people saying that studies are the best thing you can do and also some people saying that studies are just worse use of their time. Or some people saying that making girlfriends is not good at all and some saying that it’s actually beneficial.
There comes a time when you and I face two people giving two different opinions on our general problem say “X”. One says that you should not waste your energy on X and one says that you should learn everything about X.
So, which ideology should we follow?
Well, the answer lies in your situation. What you lack is what you eventually want.
Every ideology or dogma, as I have observed, has its own merits and demerits. So, the problem of what ideology to follow can be solved by understanding the merits and demerits of each ideology aka knowing it from roots.
Let’s take my favorite example:
Suppose you are 16 and you decide that you should have a girlfriend. You want to be loved, you want to share laughs, have a companion you can trust, blah blah blah.
You go to different people and as we all know, you get different or contradictory perspectives on your issue. Everywhere you go, you see some people against (now mostly) and some people with it.
So you are left with two ideology to follow:
1. To leave this idea and focus on studies. Make a foundation of a great life and make girlfriends after doing everything in life.
2. To go in this process and give time to these things. Enjoy your childhood in a disciplined manner.
Assuming that you haven’t taken advice from a guy who hangs out with girls every other day, you will get some similar attitudes to follow as I have mentioned.
So which one should you choose?
Is it (1) because you have to make a foundation or is it (2) because you have to enjoy your life?
I say none.
Choose what suits you and not others.
Like, if you are a kind of guy who meets girls every day because you have tuition friends then school friends then society friends and then friends friend. Then, option 2 might be an option for you.
Because you are already in a position to choose and date girls easily. Even if you choose to study, you won’t because you meet girls everyday day and that my friend is a constant opportunity you will miss then.
On the other hand, if you don’t meet the girls naturally and you have to put efforts and time to even meet the girl every day than the 2 might be an option because you don’t get the opportunity so ignoring these things become easy.
Now, what about those who are in the middle? Who meet girls often time but can also cut them out of their life at any time.
Well, for them, I think it’s clear. They should try both and see what works and whatnot. They should try having a girlfriend for a few months and then try living without seeing any girl at all.
The problem is that people accept and follow a dogma or ideology just because they have either experienced only one side of the spectrum (i.e. a boy who studies doesn’t make girlfriends because he is always been on the study side of life.) Or they actually know the difference between the two.
Most people who may give you advice will always be on either side of the spectrum of making and not making [a girlfriend.]
But some people give you open advice. They don’t stop you but they share their experience and give you a perspective. And these are the people who can help you the most.
My advice to you is to be open-minded. Is to know the difference between right and wrong before doing right or wrong. Be open-minded first.
Learn to listen to each perspective. Don’t follow anyone. Not even me or your favorite guru’s, take advice from all of them. Learn to identify the truth of why you really want to pursue this thing.
And then, evaluate. Evaluate and experience. You have knowledge and ideology. Go get the experience and make some conclusions. What suits you?
Doesn’t matter what people say, if making girlfriends help you and you can see it then go for it or else find an alternative. Just don’t lie to yourself.
You have to be willing to listen and say “Thank you for your advice and now you may have peace.” Don’t take something for serious until you have experienced it. Some things are meant to be experienced. Some things can’t just be taught.
I have an example that fits perfect for this. A parent tells his child to not smoke or to study but the child doesn’t really study because he has been on either side of the spectrum and he is not open-minded enough to see the difference between the two.
The same child after spending his life without studying teaches his child to study. You know why? Because some things can’t just be taught. Some things are meant to be experienced first. There are many examples if you observe.
You can’t make a child study if the child hasn’t experienced the consequences of not studying. You can’t make a person drive slow without letting him go through some accidents. Similarly, you can’t stop a guy from having a girlfriend if he hasn’t had any.
It’s all your experience you get after making a decision that defines what you believe.
Your teachers, parents, friends, relatives, gurus, etc. Can only give you a perspective and don’t even expect more than that from them. They have their own experiences and attitudes.
If you really want something, be responsible for all the consequences and do it. Learn, Evaluate and Apply.
See, you have to go into the field by yourself. You will have to check the merits and demerits of each. And follow what suits you.
And then one day a boy of 16 will come to you and ask you about his problem of making or not making a girlfriend.
And you will have to share the merits and demerits of each. You will have to share your experienced knowledge.
So, learn to be open-minded and start to try different things. The example may seem fictional but it is right with everything. Try it yourself and do write in comments “thank you for your advice and now you may have peace.”
1. There are several ideologies and each seems right.
2. Each ideology has its own merits and demerits so what works for others might not work the same for you.
3. At best, you should try to not stick on any particular ideology. Always keep experimenting. You might get something more.
4. Always choose the idea that fits in your current situation and life. Don’t just choose because “X” also did it.
5. Most people give you advice from either side of the issue. They don’t be open enough to even listen to anything other than what they believe.
6. Instead of taking everything at face value, learn to question and evaluate a perspective before accepting it in your life.
7. Take each advice as a suggestion, not as an action.
8. Some things are meant to be experienced so be willing to experience things and analyze the results you got.
9. Be open-minded to try new ideas, perspectives, ideologies, attitudes, and advice.
Now, this blog might not make sense at some point or may completely be wrong but as I have said, expect only a perspective. I can only share my perspective with you. You may have a completely different perspective than this and it is totally fine.
You can share that with us if you want. I feel happy to see you guys commenting.
Lastly, forgive me if I made any grammatical, theoretical or practical mistake. I am just a learner.
I hope you liked this blog. If you want more of such posts in your inbox then do subscribe to my newsletter. Learn to learn. This is atul and you are at Expeknow!