Hey guys!!! I think that knowing oneself more and more is a crucial thing one must do. I myself try to learn more and more about my own behaviours, actions, feelings, choices, motivation, and causes. I am not a master in self-discovery but I do know some basic things you can start doing today in order to know yourself more. So today, let’s learn how to know oneself in our favourite, Expeknow style!
There are mainly three ways that I use interchangeably in order to know myself more. the first method is,
The Family Way
Well, this is the easiest thing one could use in order to know himself. You are a biological being so you are mostly influenced by your genes. Your genes influence your behaviours and your actions at a subconscious level. You get your genes from your parents so it’s not wrong to say that you may be having lots of similar attributes that your parents have.
For instance, my mother speaks to herself a lot. She speaks everything she wants to say in anger. She was intelligent in academic. She can’t close her mouth when in anger. She tries to do good with everyone and she says sorry as soon as she gets her anger over.
These are some of her attributes that I also have. I do talk to myself, speak everything in anger, feel sorry for getting angry on someone, try to do justice with everyone, etc.
All of these weren’t totally similar to my mom’s characteristics. Some were in high amount and some weren’t even identifiable but they all are somethings I have noticed myself doing.
I also observed my siblings and they also have some characteristics of my parents.
So, you can also use this trick to know more about your behaviours. Knowledge of a problem is the first step to solving it. So, starting observing your parent’s behaviour and see whether you have the same or not.
This may reveal some great characteristics about you. Some of those are gonna be good for you and some are gonna be really dangerous.
The Observation Way
This method is the successive part of the first method. Observation method is a way to know yourself by continuously observing your own thought patterns, behaviours, choices, actions, emotions and subconscious motives.
We all have a deep voice within that tells us what is right and what is wrong. This method is used to observe that voice and identify your behaviour with that voice.
Like, if you get angry often or frustrated on someone easily, you might notice that sometimes you just don’t get angry on the person but on your situation. Sometimes, the reason for you getting angry is not because the other person is intolerant but because you have bad tolerance.
Maybe you just hate certain aspects of your life and this person reminds you of that. Maybe he is nice and you are being frustrated because he is nice. Maybe you are just too attached to material things that you feel angry when someone plays with your goods. The reasons can be anything.
The way to know yourself is to constantly ask what is the reason behind your anger, frustration, lack of motivation, laziness, shyness, etc.
With the observation method, I have learned that some times I am just angry on the fact that I didn’t do anything productive and I find other ways to get this anger out because I can’t get angry on myself. Similarly, I also noticed that my mind tricks me into believing that something is right or wrong based on the availability of it.
You need a lot of data about your own behaviours and constant observation in order to do self-inquiry but it can reveal some hard facts about you. Once you know these, you got the fields where you have to work on.
The Future Vision Way
This way is a good method to discover yourself.
This can’t be summed up through a definition so I will explain it with the examples. If you can sum it up, comment your definition below.
Under this method, we study our own actions and match them with the results we have attained. In other words, we match our desired results with our actual results.
Like, I am a very shy person. I don’t admit it usually so I try to hide this by giving some intellectual definition that can hide my weakness.
I often observe myself and see whether my decisions are good or not. Does approaching a girl is feasible for me or not? Am I really able to shout at the shopkeeper for his behaviour? Am I really able to joke with my teacher? Can I really ask the FB ID of the girl who lives in my neighbour?
These questions tell me that I am a shy person but when people ask me the same question with a why I usually say them something like, I am not ready for this, I don’t like joking, I don’t waste time, etc.
Our mind is great at making excuses but deep inside we know that our choices or excuses didn’t do any good to us whatsoever.
Match your results or your growth of the previous year, month or even weeks. Are you satisfied?
You have to evaluate where your choices don’t help you, then see what causes it. Like, is it my low temper, is it my shyness, is it my fear, is it because I don’t really think I deserve it, etc.
Then ask why do you feel so. Let me tell you one more thing, I can be damn sure that you won’t get any answer of why you are shy but knowing a problem is the first way of solving it. Keep evaluating the problem and don’t leave any chance to solve them.
The idea behind asking, again and again, is to remind yourself that you have something to work on. And then start working on that area and solving your problem for a better future.
Then again after a period, evaluate whether your actions have changed something or not. Do you need to add something or remove something? Do this, again and again, to keep discovering yourself and your strengths and weaknesses.
So, to conclude:
1. The family way: You can discover your attributes by comparing your behaviours with your parent’s behaviour.
2. The observation way: You can know yourself by constantly observing your actions and the motive behind them.
3. The future way: You can discover yourself by comparing your past choices and results you got. This shows what type of person you are.
So this is it. I hope you like what I write. I hope you will add anything you have to add or complain about. Keep doing self-discovery. This is atul and you are at Expeknow.