Advice is everywhere. Open a search engine and type your query and you will get tons of advice on one problem. There are many ways we have seen to solve a problem but why most advice doesn’t work? Why do they sound good but don’t come into use?
Despite some advice sounding very charged and inspirational, why do we tend to forget them? Let’s put some light on it.
Well, a one-word answer for this would be that they are given to actually amuse you instead of helping you. Let’s discuss it in detail.
The Reason Why Most Advice Doesn’t Work!
There are 3 things to look for while analyzing advice:
1. Sustenance of the advice:
This says that an advice is good if it is sustainable by you. Analyze how most pieces of advice is only given to solve short term issues arising from your problem.
Solving an issue from its root is one of the crucial things to do when giving advice. Most pieces of advice are not sustainable, meaning they can’t be kept for a longer period of time. Advice must be sustainable for a longer period of time.
For example, if you have heart disease make sure to not take pain killers. You can take it for a short period but it’s no help when it comes to long term benefits.
Advice must be at least in a form that it can be used by a person for the longer term and that actually benefits. Identify the actual problem and try to fix that instead of wanting a short term solution. Real advice focuses on the root cause of your issue rather than on your issue.
so, look out for this.
2. The Feasibility of the advice:
The advice you get must also be questioned. These questions include: Is the advice you are getting affordable? Is it cheap? Is it actually usable? Can it be implemented by you on a daily basis? Does your solution take so much of your energy?
A problem has many solutions and all these solutions have prices attached.
If you want to become rich, I can tell you to invest a certain amount of money somewhere but this is not workable for every person. So, always look at whether the advice is affordable by you or not.
This is the main reason why some advice doesn’t seem right. They are not made only for you.
3. The practicality of advice:
Can this solution be implemented in real life? Is it practical for you? Human choices are determined by factors like physical energy, mental health, knowledge, awareness, environmental structure, background, history, goals, motives, etc.
Understand that there are many solutions for a single problem and what may be practical for one may not be for others.
Advice to have a vacation may be good for one who has enough factors in the favor of this decision but if someone doesn’t even have enough money or freedom, then this advice doesn’t work.
Also, The advice should be understandable? They should not make you feel motivated and inspiring a day and then become forgettable. Advice should be practical and they need not be good for your ears.
I hope these 3 reasons gave you the answers to “why most advice doesn’t work.”
Why people don’t get this right?
What I notice is that some people are so excited to give advice that they give guidance to amuse rather than to actually solve your problem. This means that they actually share some inspirational quote that focuses on the end result instead of giving you practical advice on how to apply steps to get there.
A problem has its degree of seriousness and one piece of advice doesn’t fit for all. You sometimes need some tailored advice that can help you and is made for you.
Not every person is looking for the ultimate solution to their problems. Some people try to find a decent solution that is practical, feasible, and affordable. Most people get this wrong and they give advice that inspires one day but doesn’t come in use another day.
My raw analysis of modern pieces of advice.
I might be wrong but you may agree that some of the modern world advice is actually the life principles that people live by. A life principle is like a sentence that seems simple but is so deep that one can actually spend years of practice to actually implement it.
Principles are something that sounds very inspiring and motivating and gives you this boost of dopamine. They sound pretty simple and acceptable but they don’t actually come into use because you don’t actually know how to use them.
Common examples of principles can be
- Happiness comes from within.
- Don’t care about what others think about you.
- Success and happiness don’t go together.
- Life is to be lived.
- Addictions are in your mind. They don’t actually exist
- Express gratitude and be kind.
- You can’t change others but yourself.
First, all of the life principles specified here are not something that I say is bad. I actually try to get my wisdom from some of them. Principles are not bad but the way they are being presented is a little wrong.
A life principle is not a solution. Sure it can give perspective but that doesn’t mean that it solves the problem. The thing with principles is that they are so common that everyone knows them.
Secondly, applying any of them in your life might sound easy as you have been told but it is actually a tough job. Instead of solving problems through practical advice, what people do is to inspire the other person and make them feel good.
The world works on results and however bitter it may sound, some pieces of advice won’t make you comfortable. Results are achieved when we are out of our comfort zone and this requires you to ‘get out of your comfort zone’.
You can’t be happy and solve a problem of yours at the same time. Some problems require you to work hard every day to solve them. So, instead of wanting sweet advice that makes you feel happy, look out for advice that is practice, feasible, and sustainable.
How principles are implemented in life.
I am not an expert but what I found over the years is that implementing a principle in life is actually a hard deal. Changing your life or installing a new ideology requires a new perspective on life.
You need to work on many aspects of you in order to apply any ideology. You have to go through many stages to implement a principle.
Some of those include;
1. Know what is the true meaning of it. It might have a much deeper meaning.
2. You have to know the consequences of following your current way of perceiving things.
3. Then you have to go to the root of why you perceive things the way you do.
4. Next, you try to understand the new way of perceiving things. How it can help you attain satisfaction in the future.
5. Following this, you then start comparing your current ideology with a new one.
6. You now have learned the mechanism of this new thinking and now you have a “believe” that this can actually help you out.
7. Now you learn some techniques to change your whole thinking in such a way that you follow this ideology.
(i) Changing your thinking
(ii) Implementing practical ways to improve your self.
(iii) Finding feasible and affordable ways to implement this new ideology in your life through small actions.
(iv) Finally, practicing it daily and completely changing the way your life functions.
You see, some of these steps alone take months like, to find the root cause of your problem or to shift your whole thinking.
The way some people throw this advice with only a few “Simple Steps” seems funny to me.
Yes, sometimes they do help but they just put a mask or a cover on your actual problem. They don’t solve your problems, they just help you ignore them for a while.
For further references, you can check my old blog on the same topic. It’s not best but it gets the job done.
Some miscellaneous thoughts.
So, beware of all these people who give you this advice and share some tips with you. Use the 3 ways given above to analyze the advice given to you. Write them down somewhere so you don’t forget them.
There is a reason there are life coaches, counseling, therapists, psychiatrists, problem solvers, etc.
Also, I would like to add a few more things here. Principles are some of the suggestions to problems. They are a guiding belief with which one can actually change his life. Advice is merely an opinion or a suggestion.
Principles are the real “juice” that get you easily pumped. Quotes, for example, work the same way. They make you easily motivated and boom. You are pumped but you don’t know what to do.
However, let’s balance the argument, there are also some people who are helping people with their principle-based advice and that works. My argument is that these principles shouldn’t be thrown quite easily. People have spent years of thinking to create one (literally).
We should instead give practical advice to deal with problems that may sound bitter but are helpful. This principle-based advisory is just a kind of mental mas***bation.
You want to solve the discomfort you get due to your problem, you try finding your solution and you end up watching a video making you feel comfortable and teaching you all life principles instead of directing you towards of actions.
Watching motivational videos all day doesn’t give you results or solve your problems. Practical advice is what people actually need instead of a mental mas***bation.
It’s like we actually want to get laid but we end up jerking off (Forgive me for this example but try to understand the content). So, If you see someone wanting help, try giving some practical advice rather than some quotes and inspiration.
Short Summary –
1. Most pieces of advice only make you feel inspired instead of making you actually work towards solving your problem.
2. Look for 3 things while getting advice.
3. One piece of advice doesn’t fit for all problems and advice has price tags.
4. Implementation of a life principle is a big task and it can’t be done with easy comfy steps
5. If you are going to give advice, give only practical ones that fit the criteria.
6. Understand when you are mentally mas***bating and when you are actually solving your problem.
The most common thing I think will be misinterpreted is that how I am talking about Life Principles.
So, principles for me are the actual truth or way of living life. They are a guiding belief and I don’t think there is anything else that can refer to modern motivational advice other than the word “Principle” so, it’s just taken as a reference.
Second, imperfections in my blog.
I know my blog is imperfect and I constantly try to improve it. I am always ready for your kind words and will be looking forward to some improvement criticism.
My ideas, as I always say, are not perfect so feel free to comment and point anything you don’t feel is right. Also, if you find this helpful, make sure you subscribe to receive such blogs.
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I hope you have a safe day. This is Atul and you are at Expeknow!